So there it was on a lovely Thursday afternoon, the day which I was scheduled to meet with the therapist. A day that I thought was going to be all about me, where I could kick back, relax, and just plain ole get some things off of my chest…Boy was I WRONG!!! Once I arrived at her office, Michelle (the office assistant), greets me, and let me know that the Doctor was ready & awaiting me. As I proceed into Dr. Labamba’s office, I notice that she is not sitting in the “Big Black Chair” at her desk, but is stretched out what seemed to be comfortably on the chaise lounge (the patient’s couch) with her eyes CLOSED. She instructed me to have a seat at her desk, and grab a pen and note pad. I was a little skeptical as to what was going on, but hey I did as I was told figuring that this was some form of new therapy or something-lol. I took at seat at her desk not knowing what to expect, but waited for her command. The next thing that came out her mouth left me in total dismay! “It all began in England circa 1948, when my Mom worked as a dancer at Madame Ruby’s Burlesque House.” She then went on to talk about everything from how her parents met, their abusive marriage, her strange childhood & adulthood, to everything else in between. I didn’t know what to do, neither what to say. I was put in one heck of a position where the patient had become the therapist. Every time I tried to get up to pardon myself, she would start crying and ask me to please have a seat. I had began to wonder if this was some sort of game show & if I were being “Punked” by Ashton Kutcher. I glanced around the office looking for what could be a hidden camera, or waiting for someone to jump out to confirm it was only a joke. Again, was I wrong for thinking!!! Wait, it gets better. After she finished with her therapy session, she thanks me for allowing her to get a load off of her chest and tells me that she’ll bill my insurance & catch up with me in the following weeks! WTF?!?…was my response. You’ve got to be kidding me! Right? Wrong. Where do they do this at? Apparently the physicians staffed at 1515 Couqui (pronounced Koo-Ky) Ln. My only thought to do was what my favorite Tv Grandma MADEA would do… Say a few choice words to her, snatch a couple of fru-fru paintings off the wall, and flip the couch over before leaving, but I didn’t. I simply told her it won’t be necessary to contact me, and that she’d be receiving an invoice for my services in the mail. Later, I was so intrigued by her previous behavior, and the inner workings of a human brain, that I studied Psychology & took it up as a profession. Needless to say, she’s one of my best clients lol.
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There’s a new sensation referred to as the fine art of planking, where people mimic a wooden plank, are photographed stacked on top of one another face down with stiffened arms and legs in unusual public places, has already swept out of Australia and has been around for years, but it is now taking the nation by storm. What is this silly craze and where did it actually originate from? I don’t know, but you can most certainly find pictures on the internet from random plankers to celebrity plankers including Amber Rose, Andre “Big Boi“ Patton, Slim Thug, Bun B, Evelyn Lozada & Tami Roman (Basketball Wives), Joe Budden, Dwight Howard, Lil Duval, Gilbert Arenas, and more, taking part in this trend. After doing some deep digging, reportedly the term planking or tight packing, dates back to slavery, where Africans were piled on top of one another in slave ships to save space. Slaves were packed into the ship’s wooden plank beds faced down, hands chained to their waist or chained with ankles to wrist, with very little room to move. While this method allowed the ship to transport more slaves during the slave trade, generating higher profit, it restricted slaves from the ability to properly breathe, use the bathroom, rest, eat, etc., resulting in dehydration, disease, and death! To give you a better picture of what that looks like, here’s a photo:
More recently, Planking has already caused the death of one person, and is stirring an outrage with the police due to people planking on police vehicles. Now whether PLANKING is harmless fun, or a racial soft spot, I haven’t decided yet, but the issue definitely hits a little close to home for most people.